This was during the dead of winter and I was waiting for the F train at 169th. Of all days to have my headphones break, I traveled in silence. From the corner of my eye, an Indian guy was slowly and inconspicuously ‘scooting’ his way until he was next to me. Um heard of a little something called personal space?

He asked me what time it was as the LAMEST pick up line because there was a HUGE clock right on top of me. Why I decided not to be a smart ass about it, I’ll never know. So I told him said time and he introduced himself. I forgot his name but he asked for mine. I called myself Audrey for the day (that’s a lie). So he kept on talking to me and asked how old I was.

I said I was 19. I was 22 in real life. I then proceeded to tell him I was married.

He had the audacity to ask if I was pregnant! What, a person can’t get married at 19 without being pregnant?! What an ass. I should’ve mouthed off at him but he was nice enough to say “Train’s coming” and walked away.

I should’ve stuck with the smart ass comments.

–submitted by H.V–

I remember I was walking home one day, dead tired from early classes and finishing the day with my part-time job (I was 21 at the time) and it was around October. So I get off the bus, do the usual routine of walking the four blocks and my instincts kicked in. When you’re in New York, you always look behind you to see if anyone’s following you no matter where you are. So, yes. Instincts said, “Someone’s following you.”

First initial thought: You have GOT to be kidding me.

So I get to the pedestrian light, hoping to outrun the person. Alas, it was in failure and the guy jumped in front of me. I’m getting ready to get on the defense and bolt like the wind and he goes, “Chinese or Korean?”

I stared at him dumbfoundedly.

“Excuse me?”
“Are you Chinese or Korean?” he asked again.
“Um… whatever you want it to be. Excuse me.”

I tried to circle around the guy but he was blocking my way and tried to make conversation with me. He was going on about how people meet and disappear all the time. Generally, I wasn’t listening. I told him I was Chinese but I didn’t speak it (that was a lie). He said it was a shame because he knew a few words in Chinese. Yes, just because you can say a few words in my own language, like “Hello. How are you? You’re pretty.” is supposed to make me impressed with you.

He then asked what school I went to.
… When you get asked that, it means you’re still a high schooler and this kid, was in fact, a high schooler. He looked no more than 16.

I chuckled dryly and said, “You still think I’m in high school?”
“Well aren’t you?”
“I’m 25 and I’ve been married for a year and a half.”

Best. Lie. Ever.

“You’re 25?!” he exclaimed and I nodded. “You Asians must have the fountain of youth hooked up to your bathroom sinks!”

I bitterly smiled on the outside and inside, hoping he would leave me alone now. Oh if that was possible… He then proceeded to ask for my phone number to keep in contact. I told him I canceled my contract because I’ll be going to London for a job and won’t know when I’ll be back (another lie, of course. Ironically, my boyfriend was calling me at that time and thank goodness it was on silent). He then asked for my email and I told him my computer is broken and won’t know when I’ll get a new one. Yeah these stories just come one after another.

He then asked if I was going to leave my ‘husband’ anytime soon. Kid got balls, I’ll give him that. But I got offended and said “no” in the harshest tone I can to give him an idea to fuck off. That didn’t work either. He wanted to take a picture of me (creepy!) and for some stupid reason, I let him. At least he won’t recognize me now. I’ve cut my hair since then.

After that he offered to walk with me since he missed his bus. To shake him loose, I turned the corner 3 blocks early to ditch him. And it worked.

Little advice: If you’re interested in someone, it’d be nice NOT to jump out from nowhere and give off a creepy vibe.

–submitted by anonymous–

I was catching up with the speed of rush hour in the subway, when I suddenly and accidently swung my hand on someone behind me.

So I turned around to find that I hit a man (I realized I actually hit him down there), I thought to apologize anyway being embarrassed about it.
He said it was ok and smiled at me…”not that you knocked me out” and chuckled. 

I was even more embarrassed and dying from it until he said that, so all I kept saying was sorry. He said I didn’t have to apologize but it was cute of me.

Hahaha, that just made my morning! But I kept my hands to myself afterwards…

–submitted by can’t keep my hands off of you–

I was riding the train one day with my friend when this guy out of the blue asked me what my name was.

Me: Claire. (No, that is not my real name)

Him: Oh is that french? Are you from France?

Me: Oh yeah, it is.

Him: Ohhh, say something in French.

(I panic for a bit because I’m really not from French nor from France. I say the first thing that comes to mind…)

Me: Le cafe.
(Was that even French?)

Him: oh niccee. Can I have your number?

Me: Sure, it’s 516-867-5309
(Yes, the number from that song Jenny 867-5309, haha)

Him: Wait, that can’t be right, you’re lying to me.

Me: Ok, ok, here’s my real number – (and I proceed to make up another number, which I don’t remember)

Him: What was the last 4 numbers?
(I completely forget what I told him and him a total different number for the third time)

Him: (he gets up to get off): It was nice meeting you, Claire. And I’ll call you so we can arrange a lil somethin somethin.

(Winks and gets off the train.)

Did I mention that I was DRUNK the entire time? I’m actually surprised I didn’t give this guy my real number.

–submitted by Call me, because I gave you the wrong number–