I was at a nightclub one day just chilling in one of the seats near the bar.  Minding my own business enjoying my Hennessy and Coke when a kinda cute female walks up and says hi.  Always one for a quick convo I returned the greeting and offered her a seat. So all of a sudden the second thing to come out of her mouth is:

“Will you buy me a drink?”

Now honestly I’m not one for buying girls drinks for the simple fact that I’m not “balling” enough to support you drinking habit as well as mine.  So ladies out there if you’d like to flirt with a guy never ask him to buy you a drink.  This happens to me all the time.

Just start a conversation with me and if I notice that you are lacking a drink I might kindly offer one. MIGHT. Asking a guy for a drink is pretty much telling him that noone else is paying you enough attention to do so and you’d love to leech off someone. Maybe it’s the only think you can think of…try something else.

–submitted by M.B.–

So I left my car with a parking service, in a garage, while I went on vacation for a week. When I came back to get my car the battery was dead, so one of the parking attendants came to help me jump my car. I stuck around the garage for a while to make sure the battery charged before I drove back home, and the attendant stuck around too. I figured he thought I was dumb and didn’t know how to jump a car, and so he was staying to make sure I didn’t kill my battery again. We started talking, just basic pleasantries, he was about 20 years older than me so I didn’t think anything of it.

Randomly, like halfway through the conversation, he asks me if I have a boyfriend. I admitted I was single, but I said I wasn’t really looking for anything at the moment. At which point he said, “So, I was thinking… maybe you and I should get together sometime, maybe get to know each other a little better.”

I was shocked, “What? Like a date?” I said. He countered with, “Well, we don’t have to date at first, maybe start things off as friends…” I turned him down and went to quickly leave the garage, only to find I’d lost my ticket, and he had to print it out.

–submitted by P.S–

I don’t know how many guys talk about getting hit on but I get hit on quite a bit. The most interesting one was very direct. It was so direct that I really had no opportunity to say no.

So I’m leaving a nightclub. It was like 5 in the morning and I’m quite drunk hoping to just catch a cab and make it to the house. When these two females stop me.

F1 – Where do you live?
Me – (I pause for a second…but I guess seeing that I was drunk and it was a question with a very clear answer I told them the neighborhood I lived in.)
F2 – We wanna come home with you and hang out.
Me – umm…sure. You gotta pay for the cab though. (Not in the mood to get my wallet stolen or give some scandalous females a free ride home)
F1 – That’s cool. Let’s go.

I guess the direct method gets the job done.

–Mickey Bricks–

My friends and I were on our way to a midnight showing of Sixteen Candles when we needed to stop for gas. My friend got out of the car and started pumping gas when a car full of thug-looking guys pulled up. One of the guys got out and yelled toward our car. I rolled down my window and asked what he wanted and he said:

“Hey girl, I was tryin’ to holla at your friend pumpin’ gas but she don’t wanna give me any attention. Girl, I just wanna talk. You don’t gotta be mean or nothin’. I ain’t gonna ask for change. I got my own money!”

I yelled back to him, “Oh, she’s got a boyfriend, sorry.” To which he replied, “Aw that’s how it is? Girl you know ain’t nothin’ final til you got that ring on your finger. You gotta play around awhile before you settle down for good. Hit me up sometime!”

My friend got back in the car and floored it before he could try and give her his number.

–submitted by Paige–

I was transferring trains in my daily commute and as I was waiting for the train doors to open, I heard someone behind me.  It sounded like the voice of an old man and he kept saying “Asian Beauty” I though nothing of it and got on the train.  As I got off my stop, I believe I ran into him again and there he was again saying “Asian Beauty” under his breath.  I was right, he was an old man with a hugge mustache.  I can’t help but chuckle to myself.

—submitted by KL–

I was touring a church in Florence, Italy and a construction worker pointed at my
boobs, grabbed his chest and cheered. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I walked/ran away
as quickly as the church tour would allow.

–Submitted by Paige–

I was on Spring break in the Caribbean, and my friend and I were playing volleyball on the beach. We are both very tall, so we tend to stand out a bit…So this guy walks past us and says:

“You women are tall! But that’s okay… I got a long shaft!!”

V. creepy, but v. funny!

–submitted by Meeeee–

My dad was driving my sister and I to Milwaukee and this nasty truck driver dude was driving next to our car and kept licking his lips and giving us the thumbs up…like we were hot…with my dad right next to us!

Soooo not flattering

–submitted by MG–

I work the graveyard shift in a hotel, I work alone and I am the lucky girl that gets to deal with all of the drunks. Aside from one guy telling me I have “fancy eyebrows”, his friend decides he would like to pick up the couch in the lobby. He looks at me and says “Can I bring this up to my room?”, umm no. “Well then can I bring you up to my room?”. Hahaha, good one bud. Seriously?

–submitted by Jane Lane–

I was at a very busy bar/nightclub with a bunch of my friends and my boyfriend. We were standing in line at the bar trying to get some drinks. You know how it gets sometimes, trying to squeeze in enough to get a hand on the bar in hopes of getting another drink eventually.  So my boyfriend is in front of me trying to get to the bar and I’m standing behind him.  Someone taps me on the shoulder and I turn.

It’s a guy with a very very drunk friend.  He points at his friend and points at me and nods with a big smile on his face. I shake my head and point at my boyfriend and nod.  The friend then shakes his head at my boyfriend and nods at his friend again.  I just laughed and turned away.

Like I’m going to say “Ok, I’ll sleep with your drunk friend and ditch my boyfriend since you pointed at him and nodded” I saw them again after close and the drunk friend could barely stand up.

-submitted by Barfly-