by Evania

I am a woman myself, and I’ve had my share of getting hit on pretty badly and it was worth a couple of laughs, so I wouldn’t say all my experiences were bad ones.  I made this list based on some of the stories that were submitted on my site:

Now, I’m sure some of you guys have tried many of the below, and now you know what NOT to do.  Do ENJOY.

1. Using cheesy or dirty pick-up lines, such as this one:

“You women are tall! But that’s okay… I got a long shaft!!”

This was described as very funny, but also very CREEPY, and being a woman myself, once you come off as creepy…it’s a deal breaker.

2. When the parentals are around. Seriously, do I need to explain why on this one?

3. When the girl is say half your age. Meaning someone who is 16 and you’re 32. I’d say stay away – I don’t need another dad. And did I mention pedophile?

4. When you’re drunk. I mean it kinda helps you if you’re both drunk and you don’t care if you end up in bed together, but I’m referring to you, the guy being drunk and hitting on a sober girl. Let’s just say that you end up looking sloppy, like an experience of one of the stories I’ve heard, when this one drunk guy who would not stop stroking this woman’s hair and calling her a hot babe.

5. Not offering to buy a drink. I mean if you’re going to start talking to me, aren’t you going to offer me something to show that you’re interested? If you can’t offer that, at least offer an interesting conversation.

6. Using pity as an excuse for us to like you. Don’t use that oh, my girlfriend broke up with me, please, go on a date with me. What would I be? Your rebound? That’s just insulting.

7. Stalking or following us. This falls into the category of not only creepy but like scary. I mean come on, after you follow us home, you think we’re gonna jump into your pants and marry you? This is exactly the reason why we carry the pepper spray.

8. When we’re working out. We’re like all sweaty and feeling yucky, and we just want to work on our fitness. Oh, and please, don’t stare. Its not polite.

9. When our boyfriend is around. Seriously, guys who do this are looking for trouble and I wouldn’t be surprised if the boyfriends’ fist met your face. You deserve it.

10. No means NO. When we say no the first time, it means no. You don’t get a second chance. No matter how many times, you’d still look and sound the same. Except, the second time around, you start to sound annoying. This isn’t baseball.

Some doods just don’t know when to give up

This guy thinks that he’s leaving a message for his girlfriend, but in reality he leaves a laughable message to a stranger, who happens to be a friend of a friend.  Check it out!

I personally don’t get hit on at work because I work with a bunch of women — booo.  But I guess this can apply to women and men, yes I said men, since I don’t want to leave anyone out.  And I could only imagine how hard it is when you can’t run away from the hitter like you can at a bar or something.  Hopefully these steps can help somewhat. Good luck!

1. Realize that you are being complimented. They obviously find you attractive enough to spend their valuable time checking you out in strange ways.
2. Consider the possibility that you may be inviting such attention. What makes you different from other people to whom no one pays attention? Could you be dressing too provocatively? Perhaps you are not dressing provocatively enough.
3. Understand that most men are genetically designed to be attracted to movement, silhouette and color. That’s what made early man successful hunters. Those attributes now cause us to be attracted to any woman who smiles at us, even for a moment.
4. Avoid eye contact. Men interpret it as a sign of sexual interest. However, a lack of eye contact will be seen as a challenge.
5. Keep good hygiene. The worst thing you could do is to stop showering. This will keep people away but may also lead to the loss of your job.
6. Start becoming more involved in your work. Stay active and spend less time simply doing nothing so you can not be approached as easily.
7. Make it clear that you are not interested or are not finding the comments flattering. Use this only with a co-worker. It may cause problems if you tell a customer off.
8. Thank the giver for the compliment and walk away. This sends the signal that you are not interested. Again, use this only with co-workers.
9. Tell management if you are having problems with either sources. They can help eliminate the problem or give you further ways to resolve the issue if it starts to interfere with your work.
10. Stay with other people as much as you can. You are less likely to be confronted if you are near a group or even one other person.
11. Accept that you are an attractive person and simply don’t let it creep you out.

Jeez. You wouldn’t believe the online dating ads that people would post up. You’d think that it was a joke or something.

Well, Jami knows that its no joke.  She knows that there are ugly men out there to trying to lure her and other women in by using the most unsexyiest (if that’s even a word) pictures and perhaps the cheesiest ideas of what they want in a woman.  Who knows, there might be some woman crazy enough out there to even want some of these weirdos.

And I thought getting hit on was painful, what this dude wrote was painful to read, painful in the sense that you felt bad for him.

Find out more at Datewrecks

You’ll learn here the paranormals of online dating.

Check out these postcard ads for Mohegan Sun aka my mothers second home.   I doubt these lines will work, but I thought it was cute.

Don’t take tips from Jon Arbuckle 

(comic via Garfield vs. Garfield)

Alright, I guess I was proved wrong when a huge percentage of girls say that they don’t like getting hit on in any situation. I may have listed one particular situation, but that was being pregnant.  Well, there was another.  It’s getting older.  And I could understand that when you get older, not as many men hit on you nor do you receive as much cat calls.  Or at least that I am almost very sure about.   Believe me, when you’re a pretty young thing, you’ll get much more hits than when you’re a pretty old thing.

This 30 something girl or should I say woman had reluctantly went out for an club outing with some people who she barely knew.  On the dance floor, as she was getting her groove thing on, a man about 25 years old and who she describes as a total “Guido, Hair gel, gold chains, big muscles stuffed into a skin tight pink shirt.”

She claims that she would never go for him if she had been in her prime,  however, she seems to be totally digging what he says! This is how it went down:

The guy starts telling me how beautiful I am and to my utter surprise, I’m just eating it up. Then he sees my wedding rings. He says to me in his thick, Guido-y accent: “Yo, you married?! Yo, I give mad props to your husband for having such a beautiful woman.”

Dear god, I can’t believe a compliment like this actually boosted my self-esteem. I felt like Miss America! Of course the next morning, while I sipped tea and nursed my hangover, I said to Dan, “I just want you to know some guy gives you “mad props” for having such a beautiful woman.” I looked at him to see if this would fan a flame of jealousy.

So, yes, this did prove me wrong a little bit. So, if we’re attached, married, or pregnant or we’re feeling not so HOT, we like getting hit on. Come on guys, this opens doors! Of course, all the hitting has to be tasteful.

You could see these guys coming or rather, hear them from a mile a way. Yes. That guy in the corner of your eye who’s on his marks and ready to approach you, make a cheesy pickup line and instantly get rejected.

I myself, am talking from a woman’s perspective, when I ask, do men really think hitting on a woman really has any effect? I find myself slowly inching away as I’m stuck in the middle of a guys approach. Not that I have gotten hit on as much as many of my other girlfriends. But it just turns out that most of end up annoyed. I wouldn’t stop the guy in the middle of his approach just because I’d like to get a laugh out of it.

On the other hand, some women would say that they’re flattered when they get hit on. Yes, this could happen. I guess it’s really whatever situation you’re in at the moment. A girl I knew was pregnant and got hit on and she loved it. I’d say any girl would feel good about that.

That’s only one instance. Know of any others? Probably not. I’d say that no, we don’t like it, but guys do it anyway. Maybe some creativity would help you guys, because you’re playing the same game each time you come up to the plate.

So, what exactly are a guys intentions when approaching a girl? Do they hope that they’d be impressed and fall in love with them instantly? Or are they just looking for some fun? Or both? Perhaps I’m looking into this too much.

Only one way to find out how woman really feel about getting hit on.

Ladies, when guys hit on you, do you feel flattered or completely repulsed?

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And I can’t leave out the guys now.

How do you think girls feel when you hit on them?

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By : Rotten’ in Denmark

1. This will probably never happen to you anyway, so stop being paranoid. Gays mostly stick to their own, and besides, you’re probably not attractive enough to get past our raptor-like imperfection detectors. The reason we’re looking at you like that is because we’re judging you, not lusting. Furthermore, despite our reputation, gays are the most banter-inept demographic group outside of a spelling bee, and we only talk to strangers when we’re drunk.

2. Not all gays who talk to you are hitting on you. There are a million reasons why one person strikes up a conversation with another at a bar, a social event or in line for the ATM. If a proximate wrist-flipper looks at you and says something like ‘Wow, this bus sure is late, huh?’, assume innocent intentions.

3. Unless, of course, one starts a conversation with you at the gym. There is no reason ever to do this, and anyone who makes chit-chat between treadmills (or, for the love of God, in the locker room) is hitting on you. Deal with it.

4. Deal with it. Despite what movies, sitcoms and the Republican National Convention may lead you to believe, gays don’t make lascivious passes at straight guys in the real world. We might smile or say hi, but we’re just feeling you out. If a nearby guy is cute, we figure we might as well greet him and assess the dilly. We’re not mentally measuring you for our leather dungeon or anything.

5. Chat, damn you. If a gay guy says something about the weather (I told you we were socially inept), just respond like you would with any non-Sodomite conversationalist. You’re not going to accidentally speak in Gay Code or anything.

6. If, however, you have a friend whose name happens to be Dorothy, I wouldn’t mention her at this stage.

7. Convey ‘I’m straight’ in a friendly way. Just throw in ‘Oh, you like Mamma Mia? My girlfriend loved that too.’ Or ‘Yes, I have been working out a lot lately. I’ve been stressed since the Patriots lost to the Jets.’ If the opportunity doesn’t immediately present itself, just end a few sentences with ‘bro’.

8. Don’t say some shit like ‘No offense, but I’m straight.’ Thanks for your Mother Theresian depths of tolerance, Chad, but you’ve just made us feel like a kiddie-pool pervert. Imagine striking up a conversation with a woman next to you on a flight and getting ‘I’m married!’ within 15 seconds. If we weren’t judging you before, we are now.

9. We recognize your straightness. The fact that we are still chatting to you even though you’ve mentioned your fictional Swedish girlfriend multiple times does not mean we ‘won’t take no for an answer’. If anything, our intentions are even more innocent now that it’s established that the plug and the outlet are a different voltage.

10. Forget about it. Every gay guy has straight friends he originally chatted up because he thought they were cute (we will never admit this, however, so don’t ask specifics), and any proper g’adult will simply cross your name off his ‘potential free breakfast’ list and continue getting to know you. Or he’ll just smile and nod until he can ask what your brother looks like.