I work at a Kitchen Supply store. I was ringing customers up at the register when an older gentleman came up to me holding a basting brush.

“Hi, how can I help you?” I said.

He waved the basting brush and said, ” I bet this would tickle your fancy, eh!”

I stood there kind of dumbfounded before mumbling something to the effect of, “Uh… yeah…”

Then the man walked away chuckling to himself creepily. It was only two seconds after he left that I realized I should have said, “Sir, I’d appreciate if you and that brush stayed as far away from my fancy as possible.” but alas, it was too late.

–submitted by Paige–

When I was 12 or 13 I was sitting outside of school eating a bag of potato chips and waiting for my mom to pick me up. No one else was around.

Some older guy in a car slows down and says, “Can I have some?” – a common lame line. I ignore him hoping I’m not about to get kidnapped and that he will go away, which he does.

I breathe a sigh of relief. About a minute later he comes back GETS OUT OF THE CAR and asks “Can I have some?” once again. At this point I’m really beginning to panic, trying to figure out how to get rid of this guy FAST. So I respond, “No hablo ingles.” and he totally bought it!

He quickly apologized and drove away for good

–submitted by Emy–

Me and my friend were outside Subway waiting for our other friend to come pick us up. It was really hot outside so I got a cup of water and was about to splash some on myself and on my friend when four old men on scooters sped up, and slowed down right in front of us. The one at the front looked at me and said:

 ” Yeah you splash water on yourselves” winked, and sped off. ”

I have never been to Subway again in my life.

–Submitted by S.S–

I went out with a few of my friends to a local bar. I was wearing a V-neck and a long necklace, and my necklace had accidentally slipped under my shirt. This super drunk girl walks up to me and, with no warning, sticks her hand down my shirt and pulls my necklace out.

She looked at my necklace, it has the letter P on it, and she tried to guess my name.

“Patricia?”

“No…”

“Patty?”

“That’s the same name….”

“Priscilla?”

“No…”

Eventually she shoved her hand back down my shirt and replaced the necklace, then told me to make a wish. She shouted “POOF!” and walked away. Single most awkward experience of my life to date.

–submitted by Paige–

I was at a nightclub one day just chilling in one of the seats near the bar.  Minding my own business enjoying my Hennessy and Coke when a kinda cute female walks up and says hi.  Always one for a quick convo I returned the greeting and offered her a seat. So all of a sudden the second thing to come out of her mouth is:

“Will you buy me a drink?”

Now honestly I’m not one for buying girls drinks for the simple fact that I’m not “balling” enough to support you drinking habit as well as mine.  So ladies out there if you’d like to flirt with a guy never ask him to buy you a drink.  This happens to me all the time.

Just start a conversation with me and if I notice that you are lacking a drink I might kindly offer one. MIGHT. Asking a guy for a drink is pretty much telling him that noone else is paying you enough attention to do so and you’d love to leech off someone. Maybe it’s the only think you can think of…try something else.

–submitted by M.B.–

So I left my car with a parking service, in a garage, while I went on vacation for a week. When I came back to get my car the battery was dead, so one of the parking attendants came to help me jump my car. I stuck around the garage for a while to make sure the battery charged before I drove back home, and the attendant stuck around too. I figured he thought I was dumb and didn’t know how to jump a car, and so he was staying to make sure I didn’t kill my battery again. We started talking, just basic pleasantries, he was about 20 years older than me so I didn’t think anything of it.

Randomly, like halfway through the conversation, he asks me if I have a boyfriend. I admitted I was single, but I said I wasn’t really looking for anything at the moment. At which point he said, “So, I was thinking… maybe you and I should get together sometime, maybe get to know each other a little better.”

I was shocked, “What? Like a date?” I said. He countered with, “Well, we don’t have to date at first, maybe start things off as friends…” I turned him down and went to quickly leave the garage, only to find I’d lost my ticket, and he had to print it out.

–submitted by P.S–

I don’t know how many guys talk about getting hit on but I get hit on quite a bit. The most interesting one was very direct. It was so direct that I really had no opportunity to say no.

So I’m leaving a nightclub. It was like 5 in the morning and I’m quite drunk hoping to just catch a cab and make it to the house. When these two females stop me.

F1 – Where do you live?
Me – (I pause for a second…but I guess seeing that I was drunk and it was a question with a very clear answer I told them the neighborhood I lived in.)
F2 – We wanna come home with you and hang out.
Me – umm…sure. You gotta pay for the cab though. (Not in the mood to get my wallet stolen or give some scandalous females a free ride home)
F1 – That’s cool. Let’s go.

I guess the direct method gets the job done.

–Mickey Bricks–

My friends and I were on our way to a midnight showing of Sixteen Candles when we needed to stop for gas. My friend got out of the car and started pumping gas when a car full of thug-looking guys pulled up. One of the guys got out and yelled toward our car. I rolled down my window and asked what he wanted and he said:

“Hey girl, I was tryin’ to holla at your friend pumpin’ gas but she don’t wanna give me any attention. Girl, I just wanna talk. You don’t gotta be mean or nothin’. I ain’t gonna ask for change. I got my own money!”

I yelled back to him, “Oh, she’s got a boyfriend, sorry.” To which he replied, “Aw that’s how it is? Girl you know ain’t nothin’ final til you got that ring on your finger. You gotta play around awhile before you settle down for good. Hit me up sometime!”

My friend got back in the car and floored it before he could try and give her his number.

–submitted by Paige–