One day I was minding my own business when my friend Evan* sent me a text. It said, “Hey beautiful, can I buy you a drink? (Evan Patton has no game.)”

I was unsure of whether he was joking or not, and overall found this disturbing, so I just went with the relatively safe reply, “What do you mean?”

He informed me then that when one has “no game,” it means that one can’t hit on people very well. I asked if he’d just had a bad experience trying to hit on someone and he replied with something like, “Haha, no. I don’t hit on girls.”

“Yes, you bleeding well do,” I thought, but I had enough willpower to refrain from saying so.

*Names have been changed to protect the guilty.

–submitted by nameless–

So, I was walking back to work after I’ve eaten lunch and this old guy walks beside me and says “Why are asian girls so sexy?”  I laughed nervously and he said “Aren’t you hot in that?”  (I was wearing my coat on a warm day).  Really? Really?  Come on, did he really think that I’m going to say, hey, yeah, you’re hot, lets go have sex in the bathroom?

—Submitted by “Why are you so creepy?”—

One day I was riding my camel in the Sahara desert on a very hot day in August to find that sexy woman with a jug of water coming towards the camel and asking me if I could give her a ride to her tent…..obviously I said yes! I was shocked to know how close she lives to where I live. We are literally two tents away from each other. So we exchanged smoke signals (no phones…remember it’s the desert you know) and we never separated ever since.

Now I’m in the process of buying a pyramid and hopefully we’ll settle soon…I can’t wait to see her face…!!

–submitted by King Tut–

Around midnight on saturday, me and my cousins were walking on the boardwalk in Ocean City, Maryland. There were a group of boys walking in front of us so we decided to go around them.

Once we got in front of them, they said “You ladies have a nice day.” We ignored them and kept walking. Then one of them said “Girl in the pink bag, can I at least know your name?” I was the one in the pink bag, so I laughed and kept walking. My cousins were telling me what to say back to them but I already had an idea.

They kept following us and they were really starting to get on my nerves. A few minutes later, they asked if we wanted to go back to their hotel rooms and hang with them later. One of my cousins said “Sure what time?” But before they could respond, I quickly said “Sorry, I’m three months pregnant.” They all shouted in disappointment and me and my cousins just stood there and laughed. And that was the last we heard from them.

–submitted by Devan–

I work at a Kitchen Supply store. I was ringing customers up at the register when an older gentleman came up to me holding a basting brush.

“Hi, how can I help you?” I said.

He waved the basting brush and said, ” I bet this would tickle your fancy, eh!”

I stood there kind of dumbfounded before mumbling something to the effect of, “Uh… yeah…”

Then the man walked away chuckling to himself creepily. It was only two seconds after he left that I realized I should have said, “Sir, I’d appreciate if you and that brush stayed as far away from my fancy as possible.” but alas, it was too late.

–submitted by Paige–

When I was 12 or 13 I was sitting outside of school eating a bag of potato chips and waiting for my mom to pick me up. No one else was around.

Some older guy in a car slows down and says, “Can I have some?” – a common lame line. I ignore him hoping I’m not about to get kidnapped and that he will go away, which he does.

I breathe a sigh of relief. About a minute later he comes back GETS OUT OF THE CAR and asks “Can I have some?” once again. At this point I’m really beginning to panic, trying to figure out how to get rid of this guy FAST. So I respond, “No hablo ingles.” and he totally bought it!

He quickly apologized and drove away for good

–submitted by Emy–

Me and my friend were outside Subway waiting for our other friend to come pick us up. It was really hot outside so I got a cup of water and was about to splash some on myself and on my friend when four old men on scooters sped up, and slowed down right in front of us. The one at the front looked at me and said:

 ” Yeah you splash water on yourselves” winked, and sped off. ”

I have never been to Subway again in my life.

–Submitted by S.S–

I went out with a few of my friends to a local bar. I was wearing a V-neck and a long necklace, and my necklace had accidentally slipped under my shirt. This super drunk girl walks up to me and, with no warning, sticks her hand down my shirt and pulls my necklace out.

She looked at my necklace, it has the letter P on it, and she tried to guess my name.

“Patricia?”

“No…”

“Patty?”

“That’s the same name….”

“Priscilla?”

“No…”

Eventually she shoved her hand back down my shirt and replaced the necklace, then told me to make a wish. She shouted “POOF!” and walked away. Single most awkward experience of my life to date.

–submitted by Paige–